Can I geek out for a moment?

I am convinced that I am Steve Urkel who became Stephan. Anyone who really knows me, and I’m talking way back to middle school days (maybe even before then), will know what I am talking about.

I love art (as you know by now), I love technology and anything that has to do with science. I think my major explains many of my interests. I have a B.A. in Digital Media. That means I am an artist but at the same time I understand the technicals aspects of new age media. Working for a visual effects studio has fulfilled my inner geekdum (this a blog and I reserve the right to make up words) more than I expected it to. My eye has become more trained by sitting in 2K reviews, I have learned so much more about pipeline on a professional level. Things are entirely different than school. Which lends me to say, they tell you they are teaching you to be able to easily adapt to the “real world” level of the work that you are doing but after graduating and experiencing a studio that works on tentpole Hollywood projects, the college experience doesn’t even come two lifetimes close.

What’s odd to me is that I have been trying to take myself in the completely opposite direction with my career but the beauty of that is I can still never let go of what made me who I am. I never lose sight of my integrity. What scares some people is, if you talk to me now about anything that I love or studied that is totally void of most people’s interest (on a general level), and I’m talking deep into the topic, science especially, they would suspect that they were talking to someone completely different. I love to analyze and dissect topics. Try me. You’ll be surprised.

People will more than likely ask me, “Why are you trying to be a model?” You’re interested in in Photography, you take photos, and you understand lighting, and all the technicalities associated with it. Or, “Why do you want to be a rapper? You write so well, you have two feature screenplays to prove it. You can easily pen a novel. Not to mention, you know music, you know marketing, you have a great business mind (that last part I added in myself). You should run a company.” The only one that sort of sounds normal is, “Oh, you want to be a Film Director…ok that’s cool.” Then I move to LA and damn near the entire city population wants to be that.

I wish I could say I have a simple answer for all of those questions. I just don’t. I cannot even understand why I’m attracted to the “being under the microscope by the world” type of jobs. I used to say I never wanted to be in front of the camera. A small part of the change is this insatiable desire to prove some people wrong. It’s pretty sad though, all this intelligence and I want to be an entertainer… If all goes according to plan, that will not be entirely true. Create opportunities to get new opportunities and do what it is that you really desire. If that makes any sense at all.

You ain't havin it?  Good, me either
Let's, get together and make this whole world believe us huh?
At my arraignment, screamin'
all us blacks got is sports and entertainment, until we even
Thievin, as long as I'm breathin'
Can't knock the way a nigga eatin - fuck you, even!

- Jay-Z

Just can’t let go…

…or won’t let me be.

I went back to rapping.

I can’t stop thinking about her.

Art’s vice grip.

Damn memories, or daymares… I should say.

Music.

Rap.

Art.

Problems.

Demons.

Self doubt.

Insecurities.

Women.

…the things I love cause me turmoil.

Random I know, but just something that made sense to post.

For those that wonder what this blog is for, a myriad of things. It has become my internet voice. A way for my family and friends to see what going on in my life. Updates in my career. A way for me to continually put my projects and music out there to the world. I may just be brave on some posts and put myself out there once in a while, such as this one. Stay tuned, more to come.

-troyB, troy buck, and young cannon: me, myself, and I.

New Song!

Bonjour, my readers!

First, I want to say thank you to those that have been reading the blog on a regular basis and being gracious with the love and support. This is only the beginning!

I have not slowed down one bit. I feel this album is going to be something very special. Upon conceiving the idea of getting some music out to the masses, at first  I just wanted to put out a mixtape. It seemed like the right idea because most of the rappers that have been blowing up and getting national attention (the ones that are good of course) have been putting out free tapes in order to get a buzz. Their mixtapes are good but the thing is they sound like “mixtapes.” Not that there is anything wrong with that but, as talented as these artists are, I wish they had tried to actually put albums, if they could and had the opportunity to. I seem to have that opportunity at hand with my brother, Sean, behind me as my producer and the tools finally within hands grasp. It is my belief that his sound and my sound meshed will get us the attention that we have been wanting for a very long time. The more and more I began to write and come up with different ideas, I decided to shift and record more of what felt like an album. I started to have like 3 versions of verses in the songs and each one got better. I was working on this song this past Saturday called, “La La Land” and I was like, this is insane, this song sounds nothing like what’s out right now and it feels strong. It’s really good. I get this feeling from a lot of what I have recorded so far. Especially what’s on my brothers beats. I have some mixtape tracks but none of them compare to what I have been recording on Sean’s beats.

I have this other song called “Entertainment” that I recorded about a month ago and was finally able to finish a decent mix of it. I just uploaded it to imeem and incorporated it into the playlist that will become a free mixtape available right before the album drops at the end of this year. I hope you all like it. Listen to what I’m saying in this song, a lot of different things are being explained. People who wonder about me will get some answers. I also touch on certain issues I have about the entertainment business, I think many will appreciate what is being said. Click here to listen to the track.