Live to be famous, or become infamous and be remembered forever? I’m joining forces with the latter.
A young lady once told me, after working with me for 3 short months on a project, that I would one day be infamous. I’m assuming this notion was all based on my work performance and the way that I presented myself. I never understood that prophecy or knew what it would mean for me until we politicked recently and she explained to me what that really means. I always said that I wanted to be an influential figure in my life. Influential for all the right reasons. Set standards and examples for so the young men coming up behind me will have someone to aspire to be like. It’s hard to be a role model or someone in the spotlight and live a life that detaches you from negativity, evils, or something that taints your image. Some try, I would hope, many could care less, and few ever live up to that. It’s sad. There are really no good role models left out there. Especially for black men, and blacks in general. We are forced to find our role models in entertainment. Everyone has some dirt on their feet from their walks in life. We are human, inherintley imperfect and I love it. Why do I need to walk around trying to be Christ like? I don’t even think Christ was perfect. He’s a human isn’t he? Humans have flaws, no? Hm…
All of the people that I look up to and strive to be like have come from environments that can make you cringe. They have done terrible things that where the result of circumstance. I can relate to them. I know that same environment. Maybe not through and through but I have seen what they have become. They are some of the most amazingly talented, intelligent, and inspiring people that I have witnessed.
As I try to telescope out my window into my future I am trying to see if I can truly be that role model for the kid(s) who are in my position now. Unfortunately I can’t see that far yet, of who I will become, it’s too blurry. I know who I want to be… so, for the moment I just try to keep reminding myself.
Where do I want to go?
The top.
Who do I want to be?
A Legend.
Why do I want what seems so out of reach for just the average joe?
Because I have slaved, fought, bled, cried, and slaved some more. In the conception of those I have created art to free myself of the pain and harsh memories, and you know what? I damn sure feel like I deserve to be great. I think about the future, because I’m fascinated by it. It’s my love affair. I want to be the future of strong black men who don’t lead our people astray.
I am the future. Simply, because I am still living. Much to attest for a black man.
